I look stupid ...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Manhattan Webcam Software No.460668
want to go, to be more specific ... I want to flee.
That girl wants just running away at age 16, it seems she could use a change, a big change, want to start again, changing his name, wearing pink skirt and blouse, wants to put the black hair wants lacearse paint it black and wants to look into the eyes while chatting with a new being who appears in her life and distracted by a tree or a table of how nervous you feel and look forward several times, talk about all kinds of music including that hate, discuss hobbies preventing seem boring to read and write a drama then wants to take her arm to signal confidence in a new friendship and tell where he is coming and maybe the reason he left there, without coming across as a strange person strange and a bit awkward ... but have no idea how she cries out to be normal!
That girl wants just running away at age 16, it seems she could use a change, a big change, want to start again, changing his name, wearing pink skirt and blouse, wants to put the black hair wants lacearse paint it black and wants to look into the eyes while chatting with a new being who appears in her life and distracted by a tree or a table of how nervous you feel and look forward several times, talk about all kinds of music including that hate, discuss hobbies preventing seem boring to read and write a drama then wants to take her arm to signal confidence in a new friendship and tell where he is coming and maybe the reason he left there, without coming across as a strange person strange and a bit awkward ... but have no idea how she cries out to be normal!
why go someplace far away and then start again and smiles of true happiness.
I personally feel that is very brave of them, nobody needs to go across the world to try to change, says he wants to start something new? Here you can do it ... but need help, a simple push and she will know without someone on their way back, guiding her, it's almost an adult lacks very little and you should be prepared for the least expected, has no idea of \u200b\u200bthe awful things that could happen ... with a little luck could dodge, with a little luck ... ha! Something that has never had, sorry to say but will love the wrong and return to mourn again, that's where I must carefully intervene and support me not as a last time I did not know how. I think I also need some help ... I need to make it stronger, you can fool some people but not me, is that behind that expression so often cold and serious, is gnawing insecurity, bewilderment, anxiety and fear. It is what goes through your head when it happens, but it seems so stupid she believes when shedding tears in a moment of anger, pain or disappointment ... If, two years ago began to mourn for all, and it hurts even more not being able to avoid even worse if someone is watching, and even worse if more a person watching as happened this time ...
I personally feel that is very brave of them, nobody needs to go across the world to try to change, says he wants to start something new? Here you can do it ... but need help, a simple push and she will know without someone on their way back, guiding her, it's almost an adult lacks very little and you should be prepared for the least expected, has no idea of \u200b\u200bthe awful things that could happen ... with a little luck could dodge, with a little luck ... ha! Something that has never had, sorry to say but will love the wrong and return to mourn again, that's where I must carefully intervene and support me not as a last time I did not know how. I think I also need some help ... I need to make it stronger, you can fool some people but not me, is that behind that expression so often cold and serious, is gnawing insecurity, bewilderment, anxiety and fear. It is what goes through your head when it happens, but it seems so stupid she believes when shedding tears in a moment of anger, pain or disappointment ... If, two years ago began to mourn for all, and it hurts even more not being able to avoid even worse if someone is watching, and even worse if more a person watching as happened this time ...
- Miss! Hello? Hello?
- Ha ... ha? (I hasten to decrease the volume of music from my phone)
- I was asking permission to pass to sit if you do not mind ...
- Ha! Sure, sorry. (I can not believe how distracted he had been listening to the song "You Faunded me" by The Fray)
Without giving importance to the old man sat next to me turned up the volume of my music, this time sounded "Faint" by Linkin Park, then I noticed that the old man turned to me to look at me when I started to cover part of the face with one hand trying to avoid the sun, and note in his eyes a little concern, imagine it was my annoyed expression of both sun on my face and the noise could be heard through my headphones as I was at full volume, it was likely that the old man thought he was a troubled girl who took refuge in that kind of music ... I was wondering myself because I had the habit of sitting in the last collective seats beside the window with my loud music to distract me and try to overlook something that never could because there was always people I ran with his eyes on hearing my music a little loud screams filled almost as Papa Roach, Korn, Good Charlotte, Thee Days Grace among others, and seeing my peculiar comfort when sitting with legs crossed like a lady (apparently) because many could hardly be comfortable in their seats, or just staring at me because it seemed a freak that should not be near or within the entire crowd in this and other groups (bus, car or whatever you call it). I guess the old man would have realized that my annoyance and concern was for the sun I went through the sales of next ... The man was carrying a briefcase on his lap and I realized that it opened and was looking for something among many roles, I imagine the first thing was "go to this old have a cell phone" but a few pieces of paper bag and began to review the moment I turned to the window to not seem like a gossip ... I felt it coming a little closer and further piece of paper he'd pulled from his bag ... then I looked and saw that she moved her lips stretched the small leaf ... I went immediately to take off the headphones ...
- speaks to me? What?
- Face it ... is a gift for you
- Oh ... waoh by then. (I smiled and I got the sheet of paper)
- You're welcome, hope you like.
- Aha, thanks anyway ...
first thing I saw was a drawing was a landscape, a kind of paradise in the center and a great cross from the sky, it was obvious he was a Catholic, at that time knew I would not read it, either there or elsewhere ... I am not very Catholic say, if I believe in God, I have no doubt but I think they say pure nonsense in those religious pamphlets with all respect, Since that time I did not dare to wear your headphones again, it might be the shame I felt at that moment What expression would you have? So depressed or sad or woman suffered a life full of problems, it was probably that or other reason why this old religious thought he might find help or have faith in those messages would be written in the brochure?
I get out of the collective after a while and while the advanced group note that the old man looked at me with a smile full of sadness and hope at a time ... or maybe it was simple pain of seeing a teenager with an attitude of sad woman. As I mentioned earlier I did not read the brochure and just bend and store in the bag, but was impressive as I had reacted this old man could not stop thinking about it during the day, and even part of the night and was very long but for some reason I did not dare to read the brochure! Then I remember ... the days passed, the fifth day again was on the bus every afternoon way through high school, a gentleman approached me very fat, sweaty, dirty, badly dressed, as he did not have the red shirt or blue indicating that it was he who collected the passages do not give importance to the five seconds I required to pay you, it was actually very polite and to find the coin in my purse again found the brochure had left at that pocket, after paying the man looking dirty and exhausted, I ventured to read the first paragraph as I imagined were pure nonsense and pay attention, the second the same, but the third face had an appointment with large letters that called me much attention and as I read ... "A young man without joy, without hope is not a real girl, but a man old before time." Then I realized what I was trying the old man, I do not usually smile, do not usually make my eyes shine , and happier than this and if I was truly sad could alarm anyone ... always seemed like a fool while my tears were shed without I could stop, I was crying, I was full of anger at myself ...
Stephen King once wrote:
"Who knows what is happiness? Not the household word ... but the naked terror ... to the lonely person is wearing a mask, while embracing some memory marginalized worse, or some illusion. "
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